Diary of a Recovering Former Fat Chick

lovelyandbrown:

blackgirlsparadise:

allthingsblackwomen:

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Finally.

i am so so so so so so so so excited for these black girl nude shades!

(via sliceofpieface)

Depression is never more than a few negative thoughts away.
For this reason, I must constantly remind myself of reasons that I have to smile… even when all I want to do is cry. When the one phone call I want to make is to my Mama, who’s number I can’t bring myself to erase from my phone. When all I need is just one more hug from my Daddy, something I’ve been longing for since I was 12. When I feel so distant from family members that I should be close to, but never will be. When I feel all alone in this world because the two people that created me aren’t in it anymore.
My Mama used to tell me that even though my familial relationships aren’t what I want them to be, that one day I would have a family of my own, and we would be close because I know what it’s like to be estranged. I’m losing hope in that endeavor for fear that it will turn out EXACTLY the same… history repeating itself.
For now, I’ll just keep smiling… because it’s the only option I have.

Depression is never more than a few negative thoughts away.

For this reason, I must constantly remind myself of reasons that I have to smile… even when all I want to do is cry. When the one phone call I want to make is to my Mama, who’s number I can’t bring myself to erase from my phone. When all I need is just one more hug from my Daddy, something I’ve been longing for since I was 12. When I feel so distant from family members that I should be close to, but never will be. When I feel all alone in this world because the two people that created me aren’t in it anymore.

My Mama used to tell me that even though my familial relationships aren’t what I want them to be, that one day I would have a family of my own, and we would be close because I know what it’s like to be estranged. I’m losing hope in that endeavor for fear that it will turn out EXACTLY the same… history repeating itself.

For now, I’ll just keep smiling… because it’s the only option I have.

I’m comfortable in very fitted clothing, but attire this far above my knees or otherwise revealing clothes make me a little uncomfortable because of the amount of cellulite I have, particularly on my thighs. I figured what better place to debut my new skirt and conquer my self-image issues than an art show featuring nude body paint models?

I was surprised at how confident I felt standing next to such beautiful women and men, and didn’t feel as compelled to compare my imperfections to features that I admire on others. I’d definitely call it a small victory! 

Because being single and having no offspring means my life sucks, right? Just STAHP… 

Because being single and having no offspring means my life sucks, right? Just STAHP… 

Weight loss is a life long journey…  there is no final destination.

Stay HUNGRY. Remain COMMITTED. Be CONSISTENT. 

I’m sitting comfortably in ONEderland (weight anywhere in the 100’s) now, so my new goal is toning.

Weight loss is a life long journey, not a destination. I’m winning this battle daily… one decision at a time.

I’m sitting comfortably in ONEderland (weight anywhere in the 100’s) now, so my new goal is toning.

Weight loss is a life long journey, not a destination. I’m winning this battle daily… one decision at a time.

This is the me I envisioned 12 months ago.

The me I’m envisioning now puts this chick to shame though….

This is the me I envisioned 12 months ago.

The me I’m envisioning now puts this chick to shame though….

When embarking on any journey, always be sure to KEEP SMILING along the way… ^_^

When embarking on any journey, always be sure to KEEP SMILING along the way… ^_^

It’s truly a blessing to have good friends that are literally there for you through THICK and THIN.

It’s truly a blessing to have good friends that are literally there for you through THICK and THIN.

"Back then, they didn’t want me… now I’m hot, they all on me."

~ Mike Jones

"Back then, they didn’t want me… now I’m hot, they all on me."

~ Mike Jones

Nowadays, people always ask me about the “diet” I’m on to maintain my weight loss. Most anyone that’s had weight loss surgery (and is following the proper protocol for post-op success) will tell you that there is no diet or magic pill for maintaining weight loss, and you must instead make a LIFESTYLE CHANGE in order to keep the weight that you’ve lost off for good. Prior to my roux-en-y gastric bypass procedure, I had a wicked sweet tooth… honey buns, cinnamon rolls, cakes, biscuits, etc… I had a constant craving for any kind of bread or simple sugars I could get my hands on. The reason that I elected to have gastric bypass surgery, as opposed to the vertical sleeve gastrectomy or duodenal switch procedures, is because of the dumping syndrome phenomenon that occurs with gastric bypass. If you’re not familiar with it, essentially it’s the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, sweating, and generally sickness you feel when you eat (or dump) large amount of sugars into your small intestine (hyperglycemia). It’s sort of like a built in fail safe to keep those of us that were “sweets eaters” prior to surgery from eating the wrong things. In order to curb my appetite for sweets, I’ve collected some of my favorite foods that have helped me to lose over 100 pounds during my weight loss journey (disregard the Coca-Cola bottles in the background… they’re collectibles :o)
Dole Pineapples and Dole Tropical Fruit  (in 100% juice, not syrup. Go easy on these… they’re so good, you’ll want to eat a lot at one time!)
Bananas (Great energy boosters! You can freeze them for your smoothies too…)
Red Grapes (they really keep everything moving along my digestive tract… know what I mean??? Gross, I know, but they help and they taste awesome!)
Almonds (I use these as a filler food to tide me over until my next meal, and they’re great for boosting protein intake)
Cashews (I normally get the ones from Publix in the produce section which taste AMAZING!)
Progresso Rich & Hearty Chicken Pot Pie Soup (just the inside, no bread! They have a light version as well, but since I don’t absorb as many nutrients as I used to, I get the full version… it’s very filling! I can only finish 1/3 of a can at a time!)
Cheeze-It Duoz with Sharp Cheddar and Parmesan (or the regular Cheez-It brand… satisfies my cravings for salty foods.)
Sun-Maid Raisins (you can never go wrong with raisins…portable and sweet!)
Sugar Free Jolly Rangers and Sugar Free Lifesavers (too many of these will give you diarrhea from the sugar alcohols, but they’re a great for satisfying sweet tooth cravings!)
Great Value (Wal-Mart brand) Strawberry Watermelon Drink Mix (I hate the taste of plain water, and add these to my 20 ounce Dasani bottles to help get in my fluid intake for the day… and they’re only 10 calories per packet!)
Jilly’s Sugar Free Gelatin (I lived on these in those first few weeks after surgery when you can only have clear liquids… still a great snack!)
Dannon Light and Fit Greek Yogurt (simply put, THE BEST tasting Greek yogurt I have EVER found! 12 grams of protein per serving doesn’t hurt either…)
Quest Bar Cookies & Cream (the Apple Pie flavor taste amazing also) I LIVE FOR THESE THINGS!!! I hated trying to mix expensive whey protein into everything to keep my protein intake up, but these babies pack in 21 GRAMS OF PROTEIN per bar, and less than 3 grams of carbs!!! I keep a few on me AT ALL TIMES…

Nowadays, people always ask me about the “diet” I’m on to maintain my weight loss. Most anyone that’s had weight loss surgery (and is following the proper protocol for post-op success) will tell you that there is no diet or magic pill for maintaining weight loss, and you must instead make a LIFESTYLE CHANGE in order to keep the weight that you’ve lost off for good. Prior to my roux-en-y gastric bypass procedure, I had a wicked sweet tooth… honey buns, cinnamon rolls, cakes, biscuits, etc… I had a constant craving for any kind of bread or simple sugars I could get my hands on. The reason that I elected to have gastric bypass surgery, as opposed to the vertical sleeve gastrectomy or duodenal switch procedures, is because of the dumping syndrome phenomenon that occurs with gastric bypass. If you’re not familiar with it, essentially it’s the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, sweating, and generally sickness you feel when you eat (or dump) large amount of sugars into your small intestine (hyperglycemia). It’s sort of like a built in fail safe to keep those of us that were “sweets eaters” prior to surgery from eating the wrong things. In order to curb my appetite for sweets, I’ve collected some of my favorite foods that have helped me to lose over 100 pounds during my weight loss journey (disregard the Coca-Cola bottles in the background… they’re collectibles :o)

Dole Pineapples and Dole Tropical Fruit  (in 100% juice, not syrup. Go easy on these… they’re so good, you’ll want to eat a lot at one time!)

Bananas (Great energy boosters! You can freeze them for your smoothies too…)

Red Grapes (they really keep everything moving along my digestive tract… know what I mean??? Gross, I know, but they help and they taste awesome!)

Almonds (I use these as a filler food to tide me over until my next meal, and they’re great for boosting protein intake)

Cashews (I normally get the ones from Publix in the produce section which taste AMAZING!)

Progresso Rich & Hearty Chicken Pot Pie Soup (just the inside, no bread! They have a light version as well, but since I don’t absorb as many nutrients as I used to, I get the full version… it’s very filling! I can only finish 1/3 of a can at a time!)

Cheeze-It Duoz with Sharp Cheddar and Parmesan (or the regular Cheez-It brand… satisfies my cravings for salty foods.)

Sun-Maid Raisins (you can never go wrong with raisins…portable and sweet!)

Sugar Free Jolly Rangers and Sugar Free Lifesavers (too many of these will give you diarrhea from the sugar alcohols, but they’re a great for satisfying sweet tooth cravings!)

Great Value (Wal-Mart brand) Strawberry Watermelon Drink Mix (I hate the taste of plain water, and add these to my 20 ounce Dasani bottles to help get in my fluid intake for the day… and they’re only 10 calories per packet!)

Jilly’s Sugar Free Gelatin (I lived on these in those first few weeks after surgery when you can only have clear liquids… still a great snack!)

Dannon Light and Fit Greek Yogurt (simply put, THE BEST tasting Greek yogurt I have EVER found! 12 grams of protein per serving doesn’t hurt either…)

Quest Bar Cookies & Cream (the Apple Pie flavor taste amazing also) I LIVE FOR THESE THINGS!!! I hated trying to mix expensive whey protein into everything to keep my protein intake up, but these babies pack in 21 GRAMS OF PROTEIN per bar, and less than 3 grams of carbs!!! I keep a few on me AT ALL TIMES…

Save YOURSELF.  

Save YOURSELF.  

LEFT SIDE: Size 24, 305 Pounds
 RIGHT SIDE: Size 10, 199 Pounds

 
The difference? My smile has gotten a lot BIGGER… :o) 

LEFT SIDE: Size 24, 305 Pounds

RIGHT SIDE: Size 10, 199 Pounds

The difference? My smile has gotten a lot BIGGER… :o)